One of the most disgusting stereotypes concerning Islam is that
it condones and even encourages the abuse of women. Of course,
Islam says nothing of the sort. The opposite is the case. At a
time when women were nothing but the playthings and property of
men Allah (SWT) commanded that they be given rights, respect and
kindness.
How disturbing to hear that abuse of women still continues-- and
that some men somehow think it is their right to even determine
when women can talk on the telephone! Most recently I've heard
stories of domestic abuse among Muslims that are absolutely terrifying
and criminal.
Whoever thinks that this is Islamic is, in my opinion, ignorant
of the merciful marriage of Islam. Not only is abuse not Islam,
it is illegal and inhuman, cruel and wrong.
Neither the East nor the West has a monopoly on abuse of women.
We hear of bride burning in some cultures, commercialized child
sex trade in others. In the US 30% of all murdered women are murdered
by their husbands or boyfriends.
Christian men justify this by the wrong interpretation
of the Biblical injunction "women, be obedient to your husbands".
Muslim men also justify such actions on wrong and misguided
readings of Qur'an and hadith. Do we forget that A'isha, Mother
of Believers, was active in politics, military campaigns and clarification
of hadith? Such Muslims, in an attempt to rationalize their women-hating,
sex-obsessed attitudes and behaviors ignore the total ethos presented
by the Qur'an and sunnah.
As Muslims we are commanded by Allah to enjoin what is good and
fight what is evil. We are to be kind to fellow Muslims. Abuse
of women and wife battering and oppression of women, restricted
educational opportunities and forced seculsion is unkind and evil.
Men who are aware that their brothers are abusive to their
wives MUST speak up and forbid this great evil. How can we be
so quick to comment upon the lack of traditional hijab for women
and fail to address abuse and battering when we are aware of its
presence?! We strain at the gnat and swallow a camel!
We know that men who beat women tend to get worse. It begins with
verbal abuse-- putting her down, being overly critical, having
that sneer, contempt, or edge in his voice. It then progresses
to hitting and slapping and then to life-threatening situations.
Often, it leads to murder. Such men need help, the help of their
brothers who are courageous enough to say "Stop!" And
yes, courageous enough to call the police if need be.
Battered women live in fear for their lives and safety as well as in financial
fear. A little boy or girl who grows up witnessing battering will, as adults,
be likely to batter or be battered themselves. Let's stop this horrendous cycle.
If you hit your wife get help. If you are being hit get help.