AN OUTLINE OF R.M.


She was a mother with four children and a loving husband. She was an artist, creating paintings and sculptures. She was a spiritual woman, having a strong fidelity to her Christian faith and the Catholic church. She was a mystical woman who believed in the inherent value of dreams and spiritual experience. She charted her life by synchronistic events and dream interpretation. She was an avid reader and student of psychology and spirituality. She had taken courses for decades on Jungian psychology and dream interpretation. She kept a detailed journal, which had been influenced by her study of Ira Progoff in the early 1970's. She was a retreat leader giving "holistic" workshops on dreams, the family and spirituality. She had been in therapy and had worked through the painful memories of her past. She was involved in social action groups including services to homeless persons. Above all she was a searcher. An archetype for all of us.

Then illness struck. A powerful interruption in her ongoing search for meaning. She experienced the inevitable boundary-a transcendence crises. Angst and terror set in. The struggle to give meaning and transcend her illness began.

Early in her illness she was faced with not so simple questions, should I give in and lose hope or should I choose life and transcend? She chose life and transcendence. She renewed her zest for life in the face of death. The choice was not easy. It involved a commitment to discover new meaning in her life. Face-to-face with death and its terrors she continued on her journey.

Initially, her journey took her through the natural realm of expert medicine. Advanced evaluation, two operations, and state-of-the-art chemotherapy at a top healthcare institution followed. She suffered the pain and discomfort from both surgery and chemotherapy. She exercised, took vitamins, rested, did biofeedback, as well as positive visualization and imagery. She read about her physical body and tried to practice optimal self-care. She entered only a partial remission.

On a psychological level R.M. saw illness as the great challenge to self-transformation. Early on she learned about transcendence of the ego. Her terminal condition was to signal the final phase of transformation. Her dreams led her out of the egocentric realm into the broader realm of the human self. She studied her dreams, wrote prodigiously in her journal and deepened her practice of spiritual disciplines.

Socially, she made a conscious effort to repair and strengthen relationships. She studied her family tree and met with each family member to forgive and communicate honestly. She was aware of the "shadow" elements of her family history (such as alcoholism) and imparted this knowledge to her own children. She was concerned about repetition in family systems and wanted to help break dysfunctional patterns. She met with friends to talk deeply and with great honesty. She attended church and gave and received much love from this community. She became more aware of the illusory nature of the comforts offered by social institutions.

Spiritually, she renewed her devotion to the rosary. She meditated daily, She listened to and trusted her inner life. She awakened her mystical awareness. She sketched out mandalas and wrote down all her dreams, She read spiritual literature and entered her reflections in her journal. She prayed alone and with others.

Human spirituality is not all that simple. In the Field Model it encompasses all dimensions of the human. R.M. saw her illness as a call to wholeness. She believed in a mysterious purpose of life beyond the values espoused by our society. She abandoned herself in a positive way to this mystery. For R.M. the call to wholeness took her through healing and integration in all dimensions of her life. The call to wholeness for her was an active process. She created and re-created meaning and balance. Her call was to transform and give meaning to social, spiritual, physical and subjective aspects of her life. It is the same call that each one of us hears in the depth of our hearts.

R.M. illustrates the path of the human-as-spiritual-being. Her story evokes the human search for meaning and fulfillment. She died in October of 1988. Her final passage and funeral echoed the words of the poet Wallace Stevens: "death is the mystical mother of beauty". Her story is one of paradox. How can one survive and transcend their very death? It can be done if her testimony bears value.

R.M. actively and creatively constructed her life and being.

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© 1995-2000 Jeremiah D. McAuliffe, Jr., Ph.D.